An interview with Vera and Ria in Dortmund
Two senior citizens, recently enrolled in an English class, have entered into friendly conversation at an outdoor café near the entrance to the Communist fair. This weekend they hope to see many old friends with whom to reminisce about their political past.
MM: We are having an English lesson, and our young pupils, aged 18 and 19 . . .
Vera: Aged 20.
MM: Are . . .
Vera: My name is Vera.
MM: And her younger sister . . .
Ria: My name is Ria.
MM: You tell me that you both have just begun your study of English, many many years after you left school. What is the first thing that your teacher has taught you to say?
Vera: “My name is Vera.”
MM: Vera, you are very philosophical! But of course. This is Germany. And what else, Ria, has your teacher taught you to say?
Ria: “Good morning.”
Vera: “How you are.”
MM: “How you are”?
Ria: [Laughter.] “How are you?”
MM: I am fine. How are you?
Vera: Fine too, thank you. [Laughter.] Very good.
Ria: The next thing she ought to say is, “Nice to see you.”
Vera: Wie bitte?
Ria: Nett Sie zu sehen. Es freut mich, Sie zu sehen.
MM: Well, I’m very happy to see you too, but, you know, we must speak English.
Vera: Can we say, “I enjoy seeing you” in English
MM: No, we must not say “enjoy,” for this is Germany. Let’s, however, not be too philosophical.
Vera and Ria: [Laughter.]
MM: Tell me, Vera, Why are you learning English?
Vera: I’m interesting in understand English when I’m in other country.
MM: So that you may talk to English-speaking people?
Vera: I like to understand on the newspaper the . . . the Schlagzeile.
MM: The “headlines.”
Vera: Yes. Thank you.
MM: You’re welcome (or as we now say, “Hey man, no problem”).
Vera: So that I can learn of the news, when I am only some days in another country. That is enough for me.
MM: And Ria, why are you learning English?
Ria: So am I. I am at the night school learning English, learning headlines too.
MM: Are the night headlines different from the morning headlines?
Vera: The night school is in the morning.
MM: So everything in Germany is upside down.
Vera: No, the night school in Germany takes place in the morning.
MM: Perhaps we should move along now with your headline English and consider some recent headlines. How do you feel about all this talk of war and peace?
Vera: Well, after the last war, when we were 18 and 20, we were against the war.
MM: This of course is most admirable. And now that you are 18 and 20 again, again you are for peace and against war? Is that correct?
Ria: Yes, we are both for peace.
MM: And what do you think of the new American headline that says there is a New Europe and an Old Europe?
Vera: I do not think that we are “old.”
MM: No, certainly you are not old. Instead you seem to me very young.
Vera: In all our history there is no “old” and “new.” But this last year we have learned many new things about what is going on in the world, and we do not like what the Americans are doing. We think it is very dangerous.
MM: Yes, many people in the world think what America has done is very dangerous. Now Ria, you have told me that, though you do not speak English very well (which I do not believe is true), that you write English like Shakespeare (which I believe is true).
Ria: Oh, no. I do not write like Shakespeare.
MM: I was using a simile. I meant only to say that you write very well. For I can easily imagine you writing (at least the simple parts of) Shakespeare’s plays. Let us take an example: “To be or not to be. That is the question.”
Ria: [Laughter.] No, I do not write the plays at all, I only write the stories in English.
MM: You write stories in English?!? How wonderful! So you are writing the stories in English before you learn the English vocabulary? This seems to me an excellent idea.
Vera: No, no. First we learn the vocabulary, then we learn to write.
MM: But I believe that Ria’s method is the better one. Today is June 21. So let us imagine a simple story about tonight. Let us call it “A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream.”
Vera: Ria does not write like Shakespeare.
MM: Vera, you misunderstand. When I say that Ria writes like Shakespeare, I mean that she writes very well, she writes like a dream.
Vera: What is “Mid-Summer Night’s Dream”? We do not understand this vocabulary.
Ria: “Ein Sommernachtstraum.”
Vera: But this vocabulary is too hard for us.
MM: Do you mean that “summer,” “night,” “dream,” these words are too difficult?
Ria: It is still very difficult, the language of Shakespeare.
MM: Yes, I agree that Shakespeare’s language is too difficult. We should pay more attention to your work, because you write the story first and then you learn the words.
Vera: No, first we must learn the new vocabulary words.
MM: All right, Vera, then tell me some of your new vocabulary words.
Vera: I cannot remember them.
MM: What is “summer”?
Ria: Summer is here.
MM: What is night?
Ria: Night is tonight.
MM: What is a dream?
Ria: Life is a dream.
MM: Vera has told us that Americans talk with “the chewing gum accent.”
Vera: Yes, I believe so.
MM: Now what about English people?
Ria: They are talking with the fish and chips accent.
MM: Vera, what do you think about British English?
Vera: I think that English English is like our Plattdeutsch. It is like Lower German.
MM: So you think perhaps the English learned how to speak their language by listening to the Lower Germans?
Vera: No, no, no, that’s not right. German is an old language near English. It is easier to understand the English accent.
MM: Why, then, is it that most people want to learn American English rather than English English?
Vera: Because the Americans are mighty.
MM: It is all, then, a question of politics, not of difficult and easy.
Vera: Yes.
MM: And the Americans, you say, have also another problem: they put the chewing gum in their mouths when they are speaking, is this right?
Vera: Yes. They like to have it in their mouth when they are speaking.
Ria: Or a hot potato! [General laughter.]
The Communist fair is winding down. It is late afternoon. The comrades have taken seats on benches to eat and drink. They are no longer arguing politics. On three separate stages musical performers have begun to sing: old protest songs, street music, salsa; folk songs from the ’60s, workers’ songs, songs of solidarity. In the evening there will be more concerts: blues, hip hop, political rock; international folk, hard rock, world music.
MM: The politics, it appears, is coming to an end, and the music is beginning.
Vera: [Laughter.] Yes.
MM: What does this mean?
Vera: [Laughter.] It means that first we have the political festival and then we have food.
MM: And finally comes the music?
Vera: Yes, this is a good political festival.
MM: What is it that Shakespeare says, “If music be the food of love, play on”?
Vera: [Laughter.] Yes, yes.
MM: I notice, now, that the younger people are dancing.
Vera: [Laughter.] Yes, yes.
MM: When was the last time that you yourself were dancing?
Vera: Oh, a very long time ago.
MM: But now that you are young again, again you must be dancing.
Vera: [Laughter.] Ja, ja.
MM: Perhaps, unlike Shakespeare, we should say, “Dancing is the food of life.”
Vera: [Laughter.] Ja, ja.
MM: Or “Life is the music of dancing.”
Vera: Yes, I think you are correct.